Tuesday 25 March 2003

Vietnam II Preflight Check

1. Cabal of oldsters who won't listen to outside advice? -- Check

2. No understanding of ethnicities of the many locals? -- Check

3. Imposing country boundaries drawn by Europeans, not by the locals? -- Check

4. Unshakeable faith in our superior technology? -- Check

5. France secretly hoping we fall on our asses? -- Check

6. Russia secretly hoping we fall on our asses? -- Check

7. China secretly hoping we fall on our asses? -- Check

8. SecDef pushing a conflict the JCS never wanted? -- Check

9. Fear we'll look bad if we back down now? -- Check

10. Corrupt Texan in the White House? -- Check

11. Land war in Asia? -- Check

12. Right-wing unhappy with outcome of previous war? -- Check

13. Enemy easily moves in/out of neighboring countries? -- Check

14. Soldiers about to be dosed with "our own" chemicals? -- Check

15. Friendly-fire problem ignored instead of solved? -- Check

16. Anti-Americanism up sharply in Europe? -- Check

17. B-52 bombers? -- Check

18. Helicopters that clog up on the local dust? -- Check

19. In-fighting among the branches of the military? -- Check

20. Locals who cheer us by day, hate us by night? -- Check

21. Local experts ignored? -- Check

22. Local politicians ignored? -- Check

23. Locals accustomed to conflicts lasting longer than USA has been a country? -- Check

24. Against advice, Prez won't raise taxes to pay for war? -- Check

25. Blue-water navy ships operating in brown water? -- Check

26. Use of nukes hinted at if things don't go our way? -- Check

27. Unpopular war? -- Check

VIETNAM II: YOU ARE CLEARED FOR TAKEOFF