codshit.com: 9/11: George Bush's day

Wednesday 5 March 2003

9/11: George Bush's day

An Absolute Atrocity special by Armando Iannucci and Chris Morris

O846... At a school in Florida, President George W. Bush is informed of first World Trade Centre crash and quips: 'Nice to see folks so keen to get to work early.'

O905... Bush is informed of second WTC crash and this time chuckles: 'Phone New York air traffic control and tell them - three strikes and you're out!' This comment fails to capture public mood.

O906... Emergency conference in school office as aides explain appalling gravity of situation. Through closed doors President is heard screaming: 'Phone Al Gore and tell him he won.'

0907... He then orders 60 kilos of cocaine and shoots a White House dog for no reason.

O943... Pentagon attacked.

O944... White House officials attempt to preserve national control and command structure by slicing off Dick Cheney's head and putting it in a bag of ice cubes.

Over the next few hours the President is helicoptered to Orlando then airdropped into Vermont. Seizing a jet pack, he blasts himself into the sea off Newfoundland where he is collected by speedboat, hammered unconscious, miniaturised and injected into Laura Bush's foot.

1323-1412... The nation is unaware that it is being governed by a man who is now smaller than an E.Coli and tumbling around in his wife's aorta.

Full story...

Enlightenment

Do you feel like you're living in some Orwellian nightmare? Or perhaps you feel as if you're plugged into The Matrix? Well if so, you've come to the right place. No matter how messed up you thought the world was, by the time you've finished reading some of the things I've found on my travels in Cyberspace you'll realise that 1984 was just a typo!

A note to the non-ravers out there: codshit is NOT a derogatory or insulting term and bears no relation in offensiveness to its four-letter cousin, it's a word used to describe the nonsense that people sometimes talk when they are off their heads. To understand what codshit is watch the film Human Traffic.

Comments are welcome, but before you waste perfectly useful energy abusing me please take a moment to reflect on the basic right we all have to express ourselves!

Please remember that I am not telling you what to think or believe, take everything you read here with a large grain of salt!

Wisdom

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'...they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git'....
.: Alexi Sayle :.

If you confront the Universe with good intentions in your heart it will reflect that and reward your intent... usually... It just doesn't always do it in the way you expect.
.: G'kar :.

So there, we have figured it out, go back to bed America, your government has figured out how it all transpired. Go back to bed America, your government is in control again. Here, here's American Gladiators. Watch this, shut up. Go back to bed America, here's American Gladiators. Here's 56 channels of it. Watch these pituitary retards bang their fuckin skulls together and congratulate you on living in the land of freedom. Here you go America, you are free... to do as we tell you.
.: Bill Hicks :.

Let there be no doubt that the people of the free world are engaged in a war... In the next few years, we are either going to see the people of the free world rise up against these fascists, now setting the stage for global war, or we are going to see the end of democracy as we know it with martial law the end result.
.: David Shayler :.

Nothing will end war unless the people themselves refuse to go to war.
.: Albert Einstein :.

Wisdom