Friday, 6 September 2002

How to Spot a Brainwashed American

This could be you! Though much of the world is convinced the 2000 election was a coup d'etat, and many believe we're being lied to regarding 9/11, the Americans are unaware of how numb they seem. Not only are they being coerced into World War III, but at this very moment, unnamed souls are secretly locked away, the Army's drafted plans for civilian detention camps and there's a shadow government buzzing beneath their streets. And yet, they continue to ignore the oily elephant in the living room.

Researchers have identified the following symptoms. If you overhear an American making the following statements, assume they've been brainwashed and intervene immediately:

1. George Bush is a decent man.

2. I have faith in our system of checks and balances.

3. We have to defend ourselves, and the war on terrorism is the only way to do that.

4. Since September 11, George Bush has shown strong leadership skills.

5. Europeans don't agree with us because they're fairy appeasers.

6. George Bush's administration is filled with solid, foreign policy pros.

7. George Bush is doing an excellent job in the war on terror.

8. People who say the Bush administration 'let 9/11 happen' are conspiracy nuts.

9. The media is liberal.

10. Saddam has weapons of mass destruction!

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